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BARKING ORDERS

Humans think they’re in charge.

Roxy knows better.

Meet Roxy, a Black Heeler, an Australian Cattle Dog, a working breed, and a professional household supervisor.

In this funny dog book for adults and dog lovers, Roxy files her official report on managing a modern household in Toronto, where the humans invent hobbies, lose socks, leave food unattended, and act surprised when the mailman shows up again.

Every day includes at least one operational emergency:

  • An attempted squirrel invasion
  • A vacuum monster with cable-entanglement disorder
  • A “quick pee” that becomes a full perimeter sweep
  • Food mysteriously disappearing after being left unattended
  • A human who still thinks the fake throw is funny

Told from Roxy’s point of view in short, sharp chapters, Barking Orders is a dry, laugh-out-loud collection of funny dog stories about security, snacks, supervision, and the exhausting responsibility of managing people.

You’ll meet:

  • The human Roxy chose to adopt and train
  • The wife, who believes in rules until Roxy breaks them
  • Cooper, a colleague when convenient
  • Delivery drivers, weather systems, suspicious wildlife, and anything that dares to exist near the hydrangeas

If you have ever been judged by your dog, audited by your dog, or escorted to the bathroom by your dog, you already know the truth:

You don’t own a Cattle Dog.

You work for one.

Perfect for fans of Australian Cattle Dogs, Heelers, funny pet stories, quick reads, dry humor, and dogs with extremely strong opinions.

Meet Roxy. Then report for duty.

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